It is very difficult to slow down your thoughts when your anxious mind races away. It tears off in every direction, seemingly in a competition to come up with the most illogical and asinine thoughts it can. When I am caught up in the moment, I often can't see how irrational and self destructive these thoughts can be. I truly believe that these concepts must be true and my inner critic is right there to confirm them.

Practicing the ability to pause is a simple way to slow down the passage of thoughts long enough for reason to step in. My logical mind is still in there, it has just been over powered by the anxiety and the inner critic. The pausing can be just the distraction that is needed for it to find it's voice and start pointing out some of the flaws in anxiety's story.

Let me share with you an example of this so you can understand what I'm talking about. If you follow me on social media, you would have seen that last week I didn't double check the time of an appointment and arrived in York two hours early. This wouldn't have been so bad had it been just around the corner but it was an hour away from what I consider my two home bases. I realised my mistake when I was sitting in the waiting room. It was just me and another lady, so how could I leave without her thinking I was an idiot... I pretended that I needed to make a call. Why on earth would this woman even notice if I walked out of the waiting room or even care?

As I carry with me some deep wounds around the issue of judgement, it is often the first area my anxieties take me. Once I was out of the building, I then had to get back in my car five minutes after getting out of it. And just my luck, there was a man still sitting in his car next to mine... Again, this man probably didn't even notice what I was doing, and was even less likely to care, but my anxiety was telling me that he thought I was weird for my odd behaviour.

By now, my mind is coming up with ways on how to deal with this. Do I head to the farm? If I do, will I even have time to get out of the car before turning around to come back? Plus there are roadworks on and what will the roadworkers think if I drive by four times in a few hours? Maybe I can just drive to The Lakes Roadhouse and put a little bit of fuel in the tank and come back? That could explain what I am doing and still take up time, couldn't it? How long would that take though? I can't be late after all of this. Why don't I go get a coffee or lunch? But everyone would think that I have no friends if I'm sitting there by myself. I don't even have a book or my journal with me so that I can pretend to be one of those confident people who sit in a café alone. I know, I can call Mum she will know what to do! Phone is engaged, she is probably talking to my sister so I can't call her and my other sister is at work. Okay Jas, you are on your own but you need to start moving because that guy in the car is going to be thinking you are even weirder.

This is just a sample of some of the wild thoughts that flew through my mind in those few minutes. My need for flight out weighed all else and I started the car to at least get out of the parking lot. Then to buy some time to work out which long drive I was going to do, I did something that I don't ordinarily do. I drove down a street I hadn't been down. I don't do this because I don't like people to think I'm lost (I know, illogical), and if I do happen to actually get lost, I panic.

As I drove further down this street, I went up a hill and started taking in the view. Using my sense of sight to take in the surrounds was causing my brain to falter in its quest for a solution to my problem. The logical brain was able to shake off the anxiety and inner critic long enough to show some reason to my thoughts. Spending the next two hours driving was pointless and would just make me stress about being late getting back so those two options were out. As I drove further, still taking in the scenery, logic was really finding its voice. You know that no one was actually paying any attention to you, right? And if they did notice you, they would have completely put you out of their thoughts by now, right?

My Mum called me back and by this time I had talked myself down from the edge of my panic. I could almost see a funny side to my problem (almost!). Mum suggested getting some lunch. She also said that I could probably find a shop to get a book or journal if that would make me feel more comfortable sitting by myself. This was going to take a bit of courage so I kept driving around the outskirts of town to stay in my calm spot I was creating.

Now that my thoughts were more sane, logic threw me a memory of one of my friends telling me about a lookout they went to in York with their family. Maybe this was an idea? I was enjoying looking around (the open spaces always seem to help) and what is better than a lookout for that? A quick google and I set my GPS (this always makes me feel more reassured) and I only had a five minute drive to get there.

There was one family there taking some tourist shots, but I pushed on and found a bench to sit on. Here I just drank in the scenery and the occasional ray of sunshine that was poking through the clouds. While I was there, several people came and went but I used that time alone to enjoy a quick meditation with breathing exercises and applied some of my favourite essential oil (Peace). I spent almost an hour up there getting myself into a nice relaxed state and then went to find some lunch. I wish I could tell you that I sat in a café but truth be told, I grabbed something and ate it in my car down by the river (yep, I chickened out - but it is okay). Progress can be undertaken in small and seemingly insignificant ways to others, but for me this was a huge thing to have been able to handle this scenario. I must always remember to celebrate these small victories and I celebrated this one by taking a selfie at the lookout. Not much of a selfie taker, but it was the proof that I had done it by myself and gives me a little trophy for next time I need courage.

My meditation practice is inconsistent at best and non-existent in patches but I know that if I can practice pausing my mind, it will help me to slow down my thoughts when my mind races off on me. Until I become more consistent and proficient with my meditation, I need other ways of being able to pause my thoughts. A handy tip is to let your senses distract you. Sight, sound, smell, taste and touch can all be great depending on where you are.

Sight - You can look at the view in a broad way, or get into the details. Try seeing a shape in the clouds, counting all the red cars that drive by your window or looking at the furthest part of the horizon.

Sound - You can play some sound or listen for the sounds around you. Try playing your favourite song, or listening to the waves crash on the beach or try to hear sounds of nature through the hustle and bustle of humans and machines (or even try to identify all of the individual noises making the hustle and bustle).

Smell - You can incorporate some deep breathing exercises into this one. I love my essential oils so choosing a calming oil to deeply inhale is one of my favourites. You could also try standing on the street and seeing if you can pick what cuisine you can smell wafting down the street from the café, or simply stopping to smell the roses.

Taste - This would be my least favourite to go to as I would use the food as comfort but go for it if you have more self control than me. Maybe a strong breath mint would be the way to go - you know the ones that make your eyes water and nose clear almost instantly.

Touch - Grounding yourself can be wonderful if you are able. Taking your shoes off and walking on the beach or on lawn can really centre you in the present. If you can't do that, you can always pay attention to the feel of the chair below you, or try to feel all the different muscles in your legs move as you walk or the flow of air as you inhale and exhale (breathing exercises).

Remember you don't have to be strong enough to end the anxiety, just to free your logical brain to be able to join the conversation. I will definitely be making more time to practice the pause through meditation and using my senses each day so that I can reach for these tools when I need them.

Feel free to comment any of your favourite ways to practice the pause.