One of the exciting things about attending Convention is that you have access to purchase an exclusive Convention Kit. I know, totally awesome! The Kit is often a preview of what will be available soon in Australia, but with a couple of bonuses. This year's Convention Kit looked like this...
Read moreMy Favourite Winter Breakfast
For the last two Winters, my favourite breakfast option has been porridge. It is simple and quick to prepare and most importantly, it tastes delicious. I’m not talking about plain, boring porridge though. I’m talking about a modern take on the traditional dish.
I don’t have a strict recipe that I follow and most things are added free hand, but this is a rough idea of what I do.
Ingredients
1/4 cup of rolled oats
1 tbs of shredded coconut
1 tbs of chia seeds
1 tbs of chopped dates
1 tbs of chopped almonds
1/2 tbs of cinnamon or 2 drops of dōTERRA Cinnamon Bark Essential Oil
1 cup of Milk
Method
Add all your dry ingredients in a saucepan.
Cover with milk and stir well to mix.
Leave for a few minutes for the chia seeds to absorb the milk (I often enjoy a cup of tea while I let it soak).
Add extra milk if it has been completely absorbed.
On medium heat, cook the porridge stirring regularly. When it is a thick consistency, it is ready to serve. You can eat it as is or add milk if preferred.
The Practice Of Pausing In Moments Of Panic
It is very difficult to slow down your thoughts when your anxious mind races away. It tears off in every direction, seemingly in a competition to come up with the most illogical and asinine thoughts it can. When I am caught up in the moment, I often can't see how irrational and self destructive these thoughts can be. I truly believe that these concepts must be true and my inner critic is right there to confirm them.
Practicing the ability to pause is a simple way to slow down the passage of thoughts long enough for reason to step in. My logical mind is still in there, it has just been over powered by the anxiety and the inner critic. The pausing can be just the distraction that is needed for it to find it's voice and start pointing out some of the flaws in anxiety's story.
Let me share with you an example of this so you can understand what I'm talking about. If you follow me on social media, you would have seen that last week I didn't double check the time of an appointment and arrived in York two hours early. This wouldn't have been so bad had it been just around the corner but it was an hour away from what I consider my two home bases. I realised my mistake when I was sitting in the waiting room. It was just me and another lady, so how could I leave without her thinking I was an idiot... I pretended that I needed to make a call. Why on earth would this woman even notice if I walked out of the waiting room or even care?
As I carry with me some deep wounds around the issue of judgement, it is often the first area my anxieties take me. Once I was out of the building, I then had to get back in my car five minutes after getting out of it. And just my luck, there was a man still sitting in his car next to mine... Again, this man probably didn't even notice what I was doing, and was even less likely to care, but my anxiety was telling me that he thought I was weird for my odd behaviour.
By now, my mind is coming up with ways on how to deal with this. Do I head to the farm? If I do, will I even have time to get out of the car before turning around to come back? Plus there are roadworks on and what will the roadworkers think if I drive by four times in a few hours? Maybe I can just drive to The Lakes Roadhouse and put a little bit of fuel in the tank and come back? That could explain what I am doing and still take up time, couldn't it? How long would that take though? I can't be late after all of this. Why don't I go get a coffee or lunch? But everyone would think that I have no friends if I'm sitting there by myself. I don't even have a book or my journal with me so that I can pretend to be one of those confident people who sit in a café alone. I know, I can call Mum she will know what to do! Phone is engaged, she is probably talking to my sister so I can't call her and my other sister is at work. Okay Jas, you are on your own but you need to start moving because that guy in the car is going to be thinking you are even weirder.
This is just a sample of some of the wild thoughts that flew through my mind in those few minutes. My need for flight out weighed all else and I started the car to at least get out of the parking lot. Then to buy some time to work out which long drive I was going to do, I did something that I don't ordinarily do. I drove down a street I hadn't been down. I don't do this because I don't like people to think I'm lost (I know, illogical), and if I do happen to actually get lost, I panic.
As I drove further down this street, I went up a hill and started taking in the view. Using my sense of sight to take in the surrounds was causing my brain to falter in its quest for a solution to my problem. The logical brain was able to shake off the anxiety and inner critic long enough to show some reason to my thoughts. Spending the next two hours driving was pointless and would just make me stress about being late getting back so those two options were out. As I drove further, still taking in the scenery, logic was really finding its voice. You know that no one was actually paying any attention to you, right? And if they did notice you, they would have completely put you out of their thoughts by now, right?
My Mum called me back and by this time I had talked myself down from the edge of my panic. I could almost see a funny side to my problem (almost!). Mum suggested getting some lunch. She also said that I could probably find a shop to get a book or journal if that would make me feel more comfortable sitting by myself. This was going to take a bit of courage so I kept driving around the outskirts of town to stay in my calm spot I was creating.
Now that my thoughts were more sane, logic threw me a memory of one of my friends telling me about a lookout they went to in York with their family. Maybe this was an idea? I was enjoying looking around (the open spaces always seem to help) and what is better than a lookout for that? A quick google and I set my GPS (this always makes me feel more reassured) and I only had a five minute drive to get there.
There was one family there taking some tourist shots, but I pushed on and found a bench to sit on. Here I just drank in the scenery and the occasional ray of sunshine that was poking through the clouds. While I was there, several people came and went but I used that time alone to enjoy a quick meditation with breathing exercises and applied some of my favourite essential oil (Peace). I spent almost an hour up there getting myself into a nice relaxed state and then went to find some lunch. I wish I could tell you that I sat in a café but truth be told, I grabbed something and ate it in my car down by the river (yep, I chickened out - but it is okay). Progress can be undertaken in small and seemingly insignificant ways to others, but for me this was a huge thing to have been able to handle this scenario. I must always remember to celebrate these small victories and I celebrated this one by taking a selfie at the lookout. Not much of a selfie taker, but it was the proof that I had done it by myself and gives me a little trophy for next time I need courage.
My meditation practice is inconsistent at best and non-existent in patches but I know that if I can practice pausing my mind, it will help me to slow down my thoughts when my mind races off on me. Until I become more consistent and proficient with my meditation, I need other ways of being able to pause my thoughts. A handy tip is to let your senses distract you. Sight, sound, smell, taste and touch can all be great depending on where you are.
Sight - You can look at the view in a broad way, or get into the details. Try seeing a shape in the clouds, counting all the red cars that drive by your window or looking at the furthest part of the horizon.
Sound - You can play some sound or listen for the sounds around you. Try playing your favourite song, or listening to the waves crash on the beach or try to hear sounds of nature through the hustle and bustle of humans and machines (or even try to identify all of the individual noises making the hustle and bustle).
Smell - You can incorporate some deep breathing exercises into this one. I love my essential oils so choosing a calming oil to deeply inhale is one of my favourites. You could also try standing on the street and seeing if you can pick what cuisine you can smell wafting down the street from the café, or simply stopping to smell the roses.
Taste - This would be my least favourite to go to as I would use the food as comfort but go for it if you have more self control than me. Maybe a strong breath mint would be the way to go - you know the ones that make your eyes water and nose clear almost instantly.
Touch - Grounding yourself can be wonderful if you are able. Taking your shoes off and walking on the beach or on lawn can really centre you in the present. If you can't do that, you can always pay attention to the feel of the chair below you, or try to feel all the different muscles in your legs move as you walk or the flow of air as you inhale and exhale (breathing exercises).
Remember you don't have to be strong enough to end the anxiety, just to free your logical brain to be able to join the conversation. I will definitely be making more time to practice the pause through meditation and using my senses each day so that I can reach for these tools when I need them.
Feel free to comment any of your favourite ways to practice the pause.
Cleaning Your Diffuser
Cleaning your diffuser is a simple task which can help the longevity of your diffuser and ensure you are getting the best aromatic experience. If left for too long, essential oils or any leftover water can corrode and ruin your unit. Plus, having residual oil in your diffuser can impact the scent of the next blend you use.
So, how do we make sure that we are getting the best from our diffusers?
It is recommended that you clean your diffuser after each use by wiping it out and letting it dry before using it again. This is more practical for the occasional diffuser. For those of us who continuously diffuse, I suggest wiping it out when changing blends. For example, if I have diffused Balance and want to refill it to diffuse Balance straight away, I wouldn't wipe it out. If I was to be diffusing Peppermint and want to switch to Lavender Peace, a quick wipe out is a good idea.
It is also recommended that you do a deep clean of your diffuser once a month or as needed. Don't worry, this is also really simple!
1. Combine 1 tablespoon of vinegar with 3 tablespoons of water in your diffuser.
2. Turn on and run for 10-15 minutes.
3. Empty the diffuser and wipe all parts clean (a cotton swab is handy to get into those harder to reach areas).
4. Let the diffuser dry and reassemble.
It is so easy which makes me slightly embarrassed that I don't do this as regularly as I should.
Taking Action In The Face Of Fear
I used to think that being fearless meant that you weren't scared and carried out tremendous acts of bravery, while risking life and limb. I guess I must have got this idea from fairy tales where the Prince used to battle dragons in order to save the Princess from the tower. He wasn't scared and just did what needed to be done. But in reality, that is not what being fearless is all about.
In fact, according to the Oxford Dictionary fearless simply means showing a lack of fear. It doesn't say anything about not feeling fear. Maybe the Prince that I used to read about was actually shit scared, which makes his actions all the more heroic? When we look at the term fearless this way, it all comes down to taking action in the face of fear. If we are taking action then it is okay to be completely terrified while we do it.
As someone with anxiety, I feel and think about fear a lot. I know that fear serves a purpose (warns us of danger to keep us alive) so don't want to eliminate it completely. It is the over excitable fear that over reacts and jumps at my own shadow that I need to push past. This type of fear is like a toddler. It is extremely stubborn when it gets its mind set on something and is near impossible to reason with. You can try using logic, bribery or even threats to get it to come around, but it will often just dig its heels in more and start screaming to get its way. And just like a toddler, when fear starts to scream, you know about it.
So how do we manage to take action in the face of our tantrum throwing fears?
One way is to break the action into smaller steps. Rather than staring down the barrel of one big, scary challenge, I try to find a way to turn it into several less daunting challenges. Social anxiety can cause great fear and stress just leaving the house, so meeting up with a friend for coffee can be a big, scary challenge. My anxiety is spurred on by my inner critic telling me that my friend is probably too busy for me and that I am inconveniencing them (as much as I know this isn't logical, it triggers my fear). My first small step might be just initiating contact via text. Usually this gets met with a friendly response, so the second step would be to suggest a catch up. All things going well, the third step is confirming a time and location.
To make going for coffee easier, I could suggest a place where I know I can get parking, that isn't too busy and has a comfortable vibe. Often though, my inner critic is telling me not to make it too hard for my friend (why would they go out of their way just to see me?), so I let them choose a place that suits them. Once I know where they have chosen, I can research it online and map directions how to get there so I am organised on the day.
When the day comes around for the coffee catch up, I again break this down into smaller, less daunting steps. My first step is to plan what time I need to leave (making sure I have extra time just in case something happens) and double check my maps and details. The next step is to get ready in clothes that make me feel comfortable. Driving there and finding a parking spot comes next. The last step is to find the building and a good spot to wait for the person I am meeting. Usually once I see my friend, the anxiety settles down a bit as I can follow their social cues to make sure things flow.
Breaking it down into small steps, can be mentally exhausting but it also gives me a chance of being about to follow through. If I left it as the one big, scary challenge, it can be too overwhelming to try it at all.
Another way of managing action with fear is with brute force. Thinking of fear like a toddler, imagine having to ignore the screaming, kicking and crying while you pick it up and carry it along with you.
I am really enjoying learning at the moment but can get very anxious about signing up for online training as so many courses have a community Facebook page. This means interaction, sharing, vulnerability and anxiety. When it comes to enrolling, there really isn't an easy way to break it down into less scary steps, so I have to push forward with brute force. My fears are screaming and kicking but I tune them out long enough to enter my personal or credit card details and get myself committed. Once I have committed (either financially or just by enrolling), I have to keep pushing forward.
Today was the launch of the most recent course I have signed up to this way. The brute force worked for enrolment, but to complete the course, I can use my other strategy of breaking it down into smaller, less daunting steps. The course has modules and activities, so I will just tackle those one at a time.
We can't remove fear completely from our lives, but when our fear has become so great that we are immobilised by it, we need strategies to allow us to live. These strategies won't always allow me to take action and sometimes fear wins. But that is ok. I can always try again tomorrow, and each tomorrow after that until I win.